I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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