Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
