I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
