you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize