I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
