I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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