We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
