I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
