Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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