Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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