i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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