is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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