just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
