Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
