i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
porn star boner night. come get it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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