Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
