Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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