the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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