Rock
Scissors
Fuck
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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