dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
