okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
