You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize