Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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