I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
