I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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