guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize