What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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