I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
