As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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