If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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