Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
