Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
