no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize