Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
