I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
