Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
