you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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