I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
