You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
