Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
