i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Randomize
