it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
