Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
