Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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