we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize