I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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