I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
