Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
