u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
