I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
