Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
