sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
