Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
