I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
