you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
