his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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