the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Vodka?
Forever.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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