She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Randomize
