UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize