I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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