this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
