Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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